Why Most Moms Get Grumpy
Lecturer, Parenting Coach
We Micro manage. We wake them up, we make sure the brush their hair, brush their teeth get a good breakfast, dressed appropriately, pack their lunch, make sure homework is ready to turn in, settle at least one sibling dispute, put out a minimum of one fire, frequently make sure they are in a good mood and get out the door on time. All of this usually BEFORE 8:30 in the morning! Whew! I am exhausted just writing about it.
Self-sacrifice is the name of the game. Moms often don’t take care of themselves. They give up their needs and wants for their children. Some how self-care goes out the window…exercise, good eating habits, sleep, relationship with their husband and friends, their hobbies and interests. We think we are being good parents by doing this or we want our children to have the best.But truly, they aren’t getting our best. When we feel exhausted, we are more irritable, we’re less fun, we have difficulty being playful and creative. Hurry and worry take up vast amounts of energy. To put it bluntly, we’re not much fun nor are we having much fun.
Solution #1: Take Care of Yourself. Those of you that know me well, know that I am always harping on taking care of yourself. Taking care of yourself is NOT a luxury that you can’t afford. On the contrary, it is the best investment you will ever make. It is crucial to your sanity and your inner life force. There will always be another counter to wipe down, another floor to mop or another drawer to clean. But your true essence, the juice you give to your family, will be diminished if you don’t make it a priority. If you don’t take care of yourself, you run the risk of one day waking up and not knowing who you are, what makes you happy, or what YOU want. You will wake up with a bucket full of lost dreams and hamper full of resentments.
Solution #2: Think team. Whether folding a mound of clothes, washing a couple’s of days worth of dirty dishes or going grocery shopping, think 11how can I create team to get this done. The more fun you make it,
the more cooperation you will get. When we fold laundry, we dump it on our bed and then we throw our Pomeranian dog in too. He makes it so much fun because he likes to hide under the towels!
I also highly recommend the “ten minute tidy”. I am lucky, my husband is a “neatnick.” So when the kids were little, before bedtime, we’d set the timer, blast fun music, and scurry around trying to pick up as much mess as we could in 10 minutes. It was so much fun. Warning: do not try to extend the time. This makes for grumpy children. I know because I tried it. I thought I could get more of a good thing by just slipping in a few more minutes. It was a big fail.
Here are 10 benefits of creating team:
- Things get done so much quicker.
- You don’t feel alone and unsupported.
- You teach your children the essential life skill of teamwork.
- You have more time to do stuff.
- Your kids feel more a part of something bigger than themselves.
- Creativity thrives when people work together.
- Working together lets family members see the talents of their teammates.
- Relying on other people builds trust, and teamwork establishes strong relationships within the family.
- Promotes a wider sense of ownership.
- Teaches conflict resolution.
Parenting Practice: Take one family chore and turn it into a team effort. Make sure to make it fun!
Article from International Network for Children and Families